The Girl with a Steel Spine

Sometimes angels don’t come into your life clad in an all-white ensemble flying towards you to take you where you should be. Sometimes you come across them while trodding on the road not taken to help you realize where you should be. For me, that was Rahat.
 
To say that my time spent with Rahat has been the wellspring to my growth would be an understatement. A year ago, I felt as though I hit a brick in the wall and while I knew that I needed to create a new door (avenue) for myself, I didn’t think I had the courage to carry on. Everyone around me said I had hit rock-bottom. I grew up watching the television show ‘Friends’ and even then, I resonated with Rachel in more ways than one when she said “But today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, then fifty feet of crap, then me.”
 
No matter how hard I tried to let bygones be bygones, I kept hurting and internalizing everything. I experienced these sporadic outbursts where my emotions just welled up, and I couldn’t stop weeping, despite wanting to. I forgot all sense of self, could not get myself out of bed in the morning, lost my appetite and wore nothing but sweatpants. Even listening to music did not help. Trust me, I could have made Mickey Mouse cry if he met me then. When I spoke to Rahat for the first time, well, I was not a delight. I just felt dull.
 
At first, it seemed obvious. I should do more things that make me happy. Why would anyone be sad? But these things – engaging in physical exercise, having social interactions, changing your appetite and just getting yourself out of your room – may seem easy. They are, but I just couldn’t. I did not have the energy or will to. I don’t know what changed in this past year, but reflecting on my time spent with Rahat, nothing really did change. There was just a paradigm shift in my perspective and the way I adapted to situations. I just became intrinsically motivated to do more. And that is why therapy helped me.
 
As I write this today, I want you to know that I am not where I used to be. When I hit rock-bottom, Rahat was a rock I am glad to have found amidst the rest. She has the most amazing quality of listening to you and identifying what really is the problem. If you thought your apples were bitter and it was because there was something wrong with your tastebuds, Rahat could make you see that the apple tree had weak roots. My biggest takeaway from The Empathy Centre was to have empathy towards myself, especially when I cannot control the things around me.
 
Mental health concerns have always been stigmatized in our society and I did not know how people would perceive me anymore given what I had been through. Rahat was always artful and articulate in her approach towards helping me #ShatterTheStigma. During one of our sessions, she told me about Kintsugi, the Japanese Art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold which serves as a metaphor for embracing your flaws and imperfections. Today, I am proud to quote William Ernest Henley when I say “My head is bloody, but unbowed.”
 
Thank you, Rahat, for everything you have done!